Journal of the Vernimal
Monday, June 30, 2003
What an interesting weekend!
Hey everybody, here's my weekend recap! I had a great interesting weekend.
Friday
After work I went to Hunter's and met up with Romeo, Paul, Tim, Mike, and Nick. I had a lot of fun at first, drinking and dancing and stuff. Then for some reason I became sketchy, hence the previous post. So like at 2 am I left and went home. Little did I know that Randy came around the time I left.He made a request to play our song DJ Sammy - Boys of Summer. :) Alas, I was not there to hear it ;(. but I thanked him for the thought. I was so sketchy that night that I made Stephano stop by to talk. I was finally able to sleep around like 7 AM.
Saturday
I went over to Deo's apartment and worked on the wedding video with him and Emer. We got hungry so we decided to go to a nearby japanese restaurant and devour large quantities of sushi since it was all-you-can-eat. I tried so many different types of sushi, I can't remember which one was which, they were all good. So we go back to the apartment and continue to work on the video. Since Deo lives close to boystown, I think, maybe I should check out the Pride Fest. So I call up Tom and Justin and met up with them at Circuit. They were there with their friend Stacy. So the four of us were chillin at Circuit for a while. The Pride Fest was pretty cool. We then headed over to Stacy's apartment and chilled there for a while. I then met up with the old Palatine crew at Transit for Jesse's Birthday. Randy was looking gayly-straight that night. He had just gotten a buzzcut. I saw everybody there, even friends from UIUC that I haven't seen in a long time. It was open bar from 10-11 so I got tore up real quick. Jesse was a real mess that night. The place became dead quickly around 1:30-2. So Randy and I decide we were going to stop by Circuit. So Randy, Manny, and I leave Transit and head to Manny's car. When we get to the car, we find out that the car was broken into. Manny's cell and wallet were stolen. So was Randy's bag with all his flags and keys. That sucked. So after laughing off the whole messed up situation, we decide to call it a night since the night was shot. So we stop by Tony's for a bit to say happy birthday again to Jesse and then headed back to the apartment.
Sunday
Manny, Randy, and I decide to hit the hottub before Randy and I go to the Pride parade. We call up Nick and he stops by to join us. So we get to the clubhouse and find out that the hottub is closed for cleaning. Arrgh! So we decide to sit and chill in the sauna instead. Then John, Randy, and I get ready to go to the pride parade downtown. April comes by, and the 4 of us are off to the parade. We get to the parade and meet up with Leslie in front of Sidetracks. Then Steve, his boyfriend, and Jer meet up with us. So we watch the parade, lots of people, lots of free stuff. We then headed into Sidetracks for a few drinks. Leslie left :(. (I was so happy Leslie hung out with us). After the parade April, John, Randy, and I meet up with my cousin Rose and her friends at an apartment party. Free alcohol!!! We then walk down Halsted with beer in hand. We stop by Hydrate to check it out, chilled there for a bit. Then Rose takes us to Stargaze. Talk about a lot of lesbians in one room. Well it was a free barbecue, lots of hot dogs and hamburgers. We chilled there for a while, tired from the day. We then head back to the car. Randy, John, and April headed home and I went to Deo's to work on the video some more. I chilled with Janice, Deo, Emer, Jamie, and Gel for a while. Then I met up with Randy at Hunter's to chill. We stayed there pretty much til close. Champagne and lemonade actually tastes good. Randy and I then headed home after an exchausting day.
Saturday, June 28, 2003
I am utterly alone
Ok I can't help how I feel. After taking in so much most of my life as a happy guy. Being depressed is not one of my characteristics. What I've learned is that when I do get depressed if ever. It hits me REAL hard. My topic of tonight is about being alone. I've always thought that I never need anyone. I thought I could take care of myself, ever since I had to hide who I really am. But after seeing that two of my brothers are married and the other engaged, I think to myself "When will I ever have that special someone?" I never thought I needed anybody. But now I think to myself, I do need that someone. I want to have that someone hold me, hug me, and tell me that everything is gonna be alright. I want that someone to be able to watch me as I sleep. I want that someone to be my shoulder to cry on. For the past two hours, I've been watching old videos and looking at old pictures about my life and I guess I try to replace that someone with all the friends that I have. I've come to the fact that I don't want to be alone anymore. I want to meet that special someone. I know it won't happen today or tomorrow or soon. But when that day comes I know I will be ready. If you read in my profile, my worst fear is lonliness. I always have to be around somebody, whether it's family or friends. I want this feeling to go away, but it's been bugging me all night. I want to feel like my happy self again. I know only sleep will change this status, but it sucks cause I'm not tired yet. I know I have to go on seeing my friends with their special someone. I'm going to 3 weddings in the next month. They've found the one they will spend the rest of their life with.I've learned that this journal thing has helped me to express myself and vent out how I'm feeling. It sucks that sometimes I can't say it out loud but at least this is one way. Even though I know I have my family and friends that love me and care for me, I will always have that empty feeling until that day comes. I have honestly never ever felt like this before, and it is really weirding me out. I hate how I feel right now. It hurts, but I know this feeling will go away. I want that someone to love me for who I am. When will I meet that someone? I don't know. But I know that day will come. I have never been in a real relationship before so I don't know how it feels to be in true love, or in real love at all. But now, I want to experience those feelings. Everyone knows that I love to be personal in all the gits I give. I want to be able to shower that special someone with my talents, my thoughts, my gifts, my creativity. I know I seem like I'm rambling but this is how I truly feel at this moment, and I can't stop this feeling. It always hurts me inside to see my family and friends all happy with the love of their life. Ever since I came out a lot of my friends have come to me about advice on their relationships. After hearing about so many ups and downs about relationships, I want to have that experience. I'm gonna try to get some sleep now to get this feeling out of my mind and heart. Wish me luck
Friday, June 27, 2003
Messing around on the turntables
Well last night I decided to mix on the turtables for a few hours. Trying to see what's sounds good to mix with and stuff. I got tired so I just made a cd with just the songs. I did that cause I was frustrated cause my computer kept crashing when I was recording. Probably not enough room to hold all the data. oh well. Today I just got back from Lunch with randy and then hung out with Suleyman and John for a bit before I go to work. not sure what's in store this weekend. laters
Thursday, June 26, 2003
Drinking with our circle of friends
Tuesday I pretty much just slept all night, slept for like 15 hours
Wednesday I got to hang with my cousin Chris for a bit before going out. I met up with Randy at Hunter's at like 8:45 pm so we wouldn't have to pay cover. We were chillin at the bar and everything. 3 drinks later Tim and Mike show up. Yeay. Then Romeo joins the party. Well then lo and behold my cousin Rose comes with some of her friends. It became a really fun night. Mike and I were shotgunning beers. Randy was flagging with his new american flags. Rose chills with us even with her sprain ankle. Mike and I crack glowsticks and were enjoying the night. Randy uses my shoelaces for strings for the glowsticks. It was a fun night for all.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
Another Fun-Filled Weekend
Ok It's been a few days since the last entry. It's hard for me to write entries on the weekends cause I don't have much time to spend on the computer.
Here's the weekend recap.
Friday, After leaving Vic's I went to pick up Randy and We ended up at Hunter's (no surprise there). We had a great time there as always. We say friends like Josie and Nick there. The music wasn't as good as it usually is but it was adequate. Realizing that Randy's parents were gone for the week, we went to their place for the night. Manny, Monty, Marquita, and Stephano decided to stop by to hang out for a bit. They had gone to Vision to see Psycho and Teri.
Saturday, After work I went to Randy's parents house. Stephano was playing Capcom vs. Snk and Randy was sewing new flags for July 4. I had brought my suitcase of pictures from college to shuffle through for pictures for Mike's wedding video. Yes I had to shuffle through well over 2500 pictures. Stephano was then watching "Dune" while I was sorting pictures. Randy had spent most of the evening sewing the flags. We then decided to stay in and get drunk. So we call up Manny and tell him to bring over a lot of alcohol. Well before we knew it, he was here bearing gifts. We were so drunk, the best part of the night was sitting in the corner behind the couch and chilling there. It was fun.
Sunday, Randy and I talked all morning. I then go pick up Mcdonalds for lunch. Then we had to clean up from the night before. While Randy was talking on the phone, I cleaned up most of the trash. After cleaning up, I tell Randy, "I'm done!" He goes "What?" Yeah It was funny because he went into the family room and say the place all nice and tidy and then went into the living room and saw all our stuff ready to go. So we head to the apartment. We were supposed to go to the sauna and hottub, but Randy passes out when we get to the apartment. Then I went to the city to Deo's apartment to work with Deo and Emer on Mike's Wedding video. Yes this video will be the focus for the next 3 weeks.
Monday, pretty much I just chilled and watched Men in Black 2 until I had to go to work. After work I just chilled and watched America's Sweethearts. Nothing much today.
Friday, June 20, 2003
Chillin at Vic's
Just got here at Vic's. After eating lunch, I got home and continued to work on this website, slowly but surely It'll be awesome. Then I brought allura here to Vic's, then went to eat dinner with Randy at Sprindale Restaurant. Grilled cheese could never taste so good. Then I came here. Now I'm off to Randy's. We are gonna head to Hunter's tonight. laters
Pics from last two weeks are up
After an exhaustive night wednesday, last night I pretty much passed out when I got home. But before I passed out, I had time to scan all the new pics. I put them up this morning. I'm off to lunch with Randy. catcha laters
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Drinking ourselves stupid
Ok I don't think I've been this drunk in a while. After spending 12 hours straight yesterday night from 7 pm to 7 am, I was so tired yesterday. I was supposed to meet Randy at Hunters at like 8:30. When i got home from work I passed out from not sleeping the night before. So randy calls me up at like 10 wodering where I was. I get up and haul my ass to hunters. By the time I get there, Randy's already in a semi-drunken state. So I start drinking plenty myself. As we drink and drink, I realize that it's only like 11:30 and I'm buzzing hard already. By like 12:30 I see randy running to the bathroom a few times. Remind you that he has to work at 5. well, I got to head off to work now. I still feel all woozy from last night. bye
Wednesday, June 18, 2003
Ok yeay, I finally launched the beginning of my new website! It took me 3 painstaking days to get everything together for the beginning of my new website. I'm so tired right now and I have to work in a few hours. I'll be more wordy later. bye!!!! Hope you enjoy the new site
Monday, June 16, 2003
My recap of Sunday. I actually went to church for the first time since Easter. Allura made me color her coloring book all during mass. Other than church, the only other exciting happening was that we went to Old Country Buffet for Father's Day Dinner. Yes the food was ok. I seriously went back to the buffet at least 8 times. I was SOOOO full that I couldn't move afterwards. The rest of the day I spent working on my NEW Website. Yes I am finally revitalizing the website.
Sunday, June 15, 2003
OK, It's been a few days since I've been on here. Here's what you missed.
Wednesday
After work, I went home and was chillin watching TV. Tracy calls me up and asks me to come the park to hang out. It's cool cause when I got there I got to see Tracy, Mark Licudine, Mark Lim, Bernard, Chris Gonzales, as well as a few others. It was great to see them since I haven't been able to hang out with them much lately. So I go back home back to boredom. I talked to Tim and decided to hang out with him at Hunter's/ That was a fun time. It was funny cause that was the first Wednesday that I went to Hunter's without Randy and pretty much everyone was asking me where my other half was. He was, in fact, sleeping.
Thursday
After work, I finally decide to work on MIX 17. I got some progress done on it. Pretty much that's where my night went.
Friday
No work Yeay. I went to lunch with Randy. We chilled and stuff. I finally got a chance to talk to Mike Battung and them. Great fun was had by all in Las Vegas getting drunk and losing money. Randy, John, and I went to Roscoe's and Charlie's. I was drunk as always.
Saturday
Randy and I went rollerblading for a while. I haven't been rollerblading in over a year. Then after chillin a while and a few naps later, we went to Hunter's with Sandy and met up with Kathy and Joe. We had fun drinking the night away. I was chillin with Tim and Mike for a bit as well.
So pretty much, that sums up the last few days.
Sandy is one cool girl. I got a chance to get to know her tonight. She is amazing. We happened to get pulled over by a cop on North Ave. on the way to Hunter's. Apparently she had illegal lights on her hood. I thought that was funny. I hope to have many more great times hanging out with her.
How am I feeling right now? Well, at the moment I'm confused, hurt, jealous, amongst many other emotions. Basically Randy was the one helping me though all these emotions that I'm feeling right now. It kills me when the one I want to be with is with someone else. I experienced that hard tonight. When you know something is there between you two, its hard for me to express those true feelings to that special someone. I feel a great deal of jealousy. I know I'm overanalyzing it a lot but I can't help it. It's there stuck in my head. And I know now is not the right time to intrude. I guess I'll have to wait until the time is right. I know that I will have to have a talk soon with him so I can have a piece of mind. Although I'm happy he's happy, but I'd be happier if he were with me. I guess only time will tell. In the meantime I'm gonna have to try to bury these feelings for now.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
I had a long, long day at work today. I worked 12 hours today. I'm tired, I was supposed to be home 4 hours ago but they asked me to stay. I go nite-nite. Must get sleepy
Ok that previous post, Randy and I were pretty drunk at that point when we wrote it. Here's the recap of the weekend.
Friday, after work Randy and I pretty much just chilled. Yes, it's the first Friday in a while where we elected not to go to Hunter's. We stayed at the apartment and played Phantasy Star Online all night. After playing for hours, we then watched the funniest movie ever: Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
Saturday, Randy and I chilled and played Phantasy Star for a bit, then we headed over to Manny's for his barbecue A bunch of people were there like Monty, Leslie, and Stephano. I haven't seen Leslie in like a year and a half. It was great to see her again :). Manny cooked hamburgers and brats and stuff. It was good!!! He even had Filipino Moonshine; it was blue. Monty was doing impressions all night as well as swatting flies on the porch. Leslie was trying to burn a bug with a lighter. My dumbass was ashing my cigarette in Stephano's beer. When it got cold and 100 flies later, we moved indoors. Since there were no couches, Manny put the chairs in a circle. So we all sit down, and Stephano then get's up and says, "Hello everyone, My name is Stephano. I am an alcoholic." hehehe, We were all laughing. 5 drinks later, Randy and I decide to go to hunter's for a bit. There was only like 20-30 people there. It was so dead. It was fun though cause the DJ was playing awesome music.We then rejoin the barbecue, all trashed by then.
Sunday, nothing much exciting happened. After work, Randy, John, and I watched Charmed and then the News. then I passed out during the news.
Monday, Randy and I went to Great America. We got there around 1 PM and there were a lot of people there. We met up with Dan and Eric and a bunch of other friends. We went on rides like Raging Bull and Superman. Raging Bull would not have been as much fun without Carlos screaming on the top of his lungs the whole ride making our entire group dying of laughter throughout the ride. Superman is a ride everyone must go on. It has unique twists and loops. You can't even see where you are going, so being in the first row is pointless. It can be scary too if you are scared of heights. We then went to Hunter's afterwards for a few drinks.
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Memorable Quotes from Mony Python and the Holy Grail:
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
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French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
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Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: I got better.
Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!
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Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
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[The Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms cut off]
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
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Dingo: You must spank her well, and after you are done with her, you may deal with her as you like... and then... spank me!
All: And me! And me too! And me!
Dingo: Yes! Yes, you must give us all a good spanking!
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Knight: We are the Knights who say... NI!
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Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!
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The Dead Collector: Bring out yer dead!
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King Arthur: Run away!
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Tim the Enchanter: There it is!
King Arthur: Where?
Tim the Enchanter: There.
King Arthur: What, behind the rabbit?
Tim the Enchanter: It is the rabbit!
Sunday, June 08, 2003
We are chillin at Manny's house manny had a bbq today. we stay an d played all night long leslie was here i havent seen her forever. at around 2 randy and i went to hunter to get our tickets for Great america but it was broke so we came back to manny's monty showed up and was swatting bug half the night and leslie decieded to see if bugs can fight fire with thier legs... needless to say the bug lost.....ok time to go i hear a cigamarett calling my name...... peave love
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Sleep has been my fine point these last few days. Yes sleep is great, but did you know that we would be 150% more productive if sleep was not a daily requirement. I love to sleep but sometimes there are days when I want to get something done but am too tired to complete what I want to get done. In light of some events that have occurred, it makes me think about what makes a good relationship. Even though I am single, I have a lot of advice to offer those who do have a loved one. Anyways when I think of relationships, my main focus is COMMUNICATION.
Communication is one of the major parts of a relationship. To have a strong-working relationship you need to communicate with your loved one. Secrets and lies only make the relationship worse. You need to be able to tell your loved one what's going on with your life. My biggest pet peeve is when your loved one does not return your calls or tries to avoid you. Sometimes they can smother you and it might be too much, but at least they are showing you that they care about you. I'm all about communication. Being afraid to tell something to your loved one something is not a good sign. Yes there may be secrets you may have, but it's best in the long run to tell them to your loved one for they will thank you in the long run. Plus if it's something bad, it's always best that you tell them because 1. they already know and want you to tell them or 2. it's better for you to tell them than for them to find out from somebody else.
When one of my friends is down and out because of a relationship, I try to cheer them up. I like to do nifty things like sends an email hug or greeting or something like that. I feel bad when my friends are sad. I myself am an upbeat person. I have had friends come up to me and say that my smile and persona makes them feel good about themselves. They have said even when I just say "Heyllo" to them, it brightens their day. When my friends told me that, It made me feel good. I never realized how much an impact I have on other people's lives. I guess one of my purposes in life is to ensure the happiness of others. By doing that, it makes me happy. I feel good when I can cheer up or brighten someone else's day.
Monday, June 02, 2003
How was my day today you say? Well. Nothing too exciting today. Woke up, went to eat lunch with Randy, then headed off to work. I got home around 10 today and been chillin since. I'm gonna head to my brother Vergil's house in a bit (He's not home, they went on vacation) to scan more pics for this page. He has 100s of DVDs so I have plenty to watch while i'm over there.
Saturday Night came with great fun. I went to The Mission in Elgin to see Psycho Bitch and Teri Bristol. I was dragging ass so Randy and I didn't end up at the MIssion until 11:30, alas we missed the open bar. We met up with Manny, Jen, Hector, Alicia, Romeo, and Nick. Let me tell you that Teri and Psycho had a kick-ass set that night. It was bumpin all night long. I saw Mike, Liz, Josh, and Ariel there and we chilled with them for a while. It was a fun time.
