Journal of the Vernimal
Sunday, September 28, 2003
Another weekend of fun-filled events!
ok
Wednesday
Went to Hunter's for Whirl Wednesdays as usual. It was ok, the place was not as packed as it has been the previous 2 weeks, but adequate. We all had fun, fun, fun that night.
Thursday
Went bowling at Waveland Bowl with Sheilah, Emer, Jhoanne, Leah, Jame, Janice, and Mark. My goal was to get at least 100. I passed my goal in the first game, but bombed the second one. Then Nancy and I went to "The Apartment" club just to check it out. I saw Dave and Vanessa from work, as well as like Stephano, Jon, and a bunch of the UIUC crew like Cathy, PJ, Joel and Jen. I actually got a chance to see and talk to Nik-nik for the first time in years.
Friday
Went to Hydrate with Randy. I finally got a chance to see Chariya there working for the first time in months. Nick and Stan also met up with us, and then we all had a fun time dancing the night away.
Saturday
Hung out with Jorel and Patty during the day while I was scanning pictures for my website. Then went over to Tom and Justin's to check out their new pad at Four Lakes. We all went to Best Buy to look at some stuff and then to Michael's to frame some of Justin's pictures. We ended our excursion with a dinner at Chili's. It was great to see them both for the first time in months. I had a blast. So then I went to Jem's and met up with him and Nancy there. Then we headed to Zentra for Tony's birthday. We met up with Randy, Manny, Yamilla, Sandra, Fernando, Tony, Annette, Jesse, Jun, Joe, Jorge, Joel, Jon, and Chris. We all had a GREAT time listening to Teri and Psycho spin. We all then retreated back to the clubhouse just to hang out
Sunday
I'm sitting here at Tom and Justin's just hanging out and everything after having an exhausting weekend
Wednesday, September 24, 2003
Just another night
Well today kiddies pretty much i hung around the house after work, then Nancy came over and we headed to Vic and Pam's. Hungry as we were, we stopped by Taco Bell on the way. We watched the video from Chris and Jane's wedding. Allura was back from Vegas yeay!
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
Ok my last post did not appear
I think my blog is a little messed up. my last post did now appear. oh well.
Saturday
Went to Zentra with Nancy and met up with Randy, Manny, Oliver, and everyone else there. Great time as always. Then chilled at Sandra's afterwords.
Sunday
Visited Jon, Golda, and Jenny at their apartment in Lincoln Park. I headed over to Tony's and chilled there. Then pretty much just chilled at home.
Monday
After work, I met up with Pam to get Allura's bed at Ikea. Them pretty much hung out with Pam's brother JP at Vic's house and played Halo.
Saturday, September 20, 2003
Chillin with Nancy
Right now I'm hanging out with Nancy at Jane's crib. We are both infatuated with friendster at the moment. Later on we are heading to Zentra to meet up with Randy and everybody. Tonight will be a fun night. Yeay!
On friday, pretty much just chilled. I hung out with Nick from work. We had a fun time just drinking and watching the movie "Mr. Deeds"
Friday, September 19, 2003
Sorry I haven't posted in a week
Wednesday
Whirl at hunter's went well! Over 800 people attended. Frida Lay was a great host. The Whirl n Twirl Boys rocked the house. Ken-E played great music.
Thursday
Went to the apartment for PJ's birthday and Jerry's birthday. Saw Jane and crew there. Fun times. I got to see Nancy for the first time in a while :).
Friday
Went to Green Velvet at House of Blues with Randy, Manny, Stephano, John, Joe and Leslie. Lots of fun!!!
Saturday
Chilled with Randy, Went to Ivy's and hung out with her and Rose. We stopped by Nick's. Then I worked on the Wedding video for Jane and Chris's Wedding. Ron, Rose, and Vic helped out.
Sunday
It's MANNY's Birthday!!!
Worked on Wedding video. Marquita was kind enough to drive me around. Thanks Marquita. Got trashed at the Wedding
Monday
It's NANCY's Birthday!!!
Pretty mush just chilled
Tuesday
It's TOM's Birthday!!!
Slept most of the day. Went to Cubby Bear with Tom and Chris for Tom's birthday.
Wednesday
Whirl at Hunters was another night of fun
Thursday
Went to "the Apartment" with Randy, then we went to Hydrate and met up with Jorge and Joel. Randy and I ate a 20 sack of cheeseburgers at White Castle now I'm home.
Wednesday, September 10, 2003
PART X - Friendster
Friendster has been the best remedy to all this chaos right now. Just know I have a lot a friends builds my self-esteem up. I love you all :)
PART IX - Resolution
To all who read thes past few entries: I'm gonna try to end it here, and try to keep myself busy. Only Time will heal this pain i have.
PART VIII - The Debut
I just watched "The Debut" while basking in my sorrows. It's a great movie to watch. The movie made me realize even more things that i didn't want to realize especially in the state of mind that i'm in right now. But what do you expect out of me? I"m not even sure myself. I try to keep my balance, but it's not working to my surprise right now.
PART VII - Why did I work today?
I worked today to help me keep my mind off this bug. My friends at work said that i didn't look like i was in the state of mind to work. But i persevered even though it sucked. For a while it was off my mind, but kept creeping back like every 10 minutes. Something s little as this shouldn't affect my work but it did. I know tomorrow will be even worse cause I'll still have had no sleep cause of this.
PART VI - Breakdown you think?
Well I know i'm past this nervous breakdown, and i'm all cried out. I just wish all these feelings didn't kick in all at the same time. I just think all the circumstances of the past few days have led up to this point. I knew it was would happen someday, but i didn't think it would be now.
PART V - The Crankiness sets in
Ok I haven't slept really last night, i was tossing and turning all night last night over this whole thing. Now i'm really cranky and just mor FRUSTRATED than anything. I like how this jurnal thing can really vent my frustration. Where I just want someone to talk to, but there's no one there. I think the only way through tonight is to vent all of this sorrow and feelings i have is on this.
I'll probably put up a new post within 30 minutes of each other for the next few hours
PART IV - The bug
Ok this bug is just a small hitch, but it makes me think about these past few months. Even though i know this bug will be partially resolved within the next 24 hours. This bug has 3 parts to its body. Its just not one part to it, it's this complex parasite that alone would not affect me at all. But all at the same time! this reALLY really sucks. I just wish i knew what i did to make this all happen in the first place. i know it's not mostly me, but this is just how i feel. I've been swimming in this pond with this bug all day, i've never made waterfalls this big before, espcially over something that is REALLY overanalyzed.
PART III - My life feels like jello right now
I'm so ready to say so many things. I feel like i'm at an end. I've hit a brick wall, and yet I'm still stuck at the bottom of the well. Please pull me out of this dump. I just really hate hearing the truth from a trusted source, and not hearing it from those who are supposed to be your really good friends. The answer i will find out real soon, granted i've been through hell this past day and a half. Luckily, i've had several angels inspiring me and cheering me up, even though it seems like this well is getting deeper. Cover-ups are a no-no for me. I would just like to hear it. I have no reason to lie, and i though i was being treated the same. I Still know I"m REALLY, REALLY overanalzing this situation. But this bug that is stuck with me has now transformed into a parasite and then is now a virus that is infecting me in my daily functions. I can't even watch tv or work or sleep with this bug, bugging me. Its REALLy small, yet REALLY huge. And by now i think i've flooded the room and have emptied the glands with unecessary worries. Bottom line i'm just hurt from this thing that is REALLY REALLY bothering me.
Tuesday, September 09, 2003
Venting my frustration part 2
It's been almost 24 hours that i've been in this depressed state. I'm no better that i was last night. I guess I'm just to scared to find out why. I could easily learn the answer, but i guess i'm too chicken to find out, lest i damage something that is perfectly sound. Advice given to me dictates that I SHOULD find out the answer to my melancholic state. But then again. I guess I'm just too afraid of the repercussions. I don't want this feeling anymore. I just want it to go away. I have been questioning everything about what i've been doing. Work sucked today cause all i could think about is this ONE little thing that has been bugging me. I'm just REALLY REALLY hurt right now. But I know if I don't do something about it, this will never change. Tears, no, more like waterfalls have been in my sight all day cause of this. I just hope this feeling leaves me soon
In the state of *#$*#*
I'm really mixed with emotions right now. I feel hurt, betrayed, neglected, unappreciated, used, lied to, unwelcomed, inferior, lost, unwanted. When i thought everything was content, I've been a wreck these past few hours. Trying to sort out my life. Trying to figure out a lot of things. I feel like I'm totally overanalyzing the situation, but mostly i feel hurt. Really hurt. And now I'm in one of those melancholic spells. Even to the point where I get teary eyed, cause I think that i might have done something wrong, but nobody's telling me. I feel like i'm all alone, cause nobody's been calling. I feel like i've offended some people, but nobody's told me i've done worng. I don't want this feeling anymore.
Sunday, September 07, 2003
Ok i've been doing a whole lot of nothing and loving it
Sorry I haven't posted anything lately. I've been sick most of the time. Many apologies to my loyal readers!!!!!
Friday
Went to work as always. I felt a lot better. So then I went to Hunter's. I met up with everybody there like Randy, John, Nick, Tim, Aaron, David and a bunch of others. It was a great time as always. Getting drink after drink.
Saturday
Randy and I visited Joel at Best Buy. Then we went to Randy's parent's house to move all of Randy's belongings. Let me tell you that Randy has A LOT of STUFF. It filled the entire van. Manny even stopped by to help us. So then I went to work. Then I was debating to go out. I ended up going to Zentra and met up with Manny, Alicia, Jem, the palatine crew, and Marquita there. Some of us the retreated back at the clubhouse where Randy and Nick met us up there.
Sunday
I woke up without a voice. I started to get deathly sick again. Alicia and Randy were making fun of my voice, it sounded like a dead frog. We then went to Alicia's and hung out there all night, I couldn't do much, but everybody came over to hang out and drink.
Monday/Tuesday
I DID A WHOLE LOT OF NOTHING. I pretty much just sat and watched tv and kept passing out. I was sick, i couldn't even go to work.
Wednesday
Got myself to get up and go to work again. So then afterwards chilled at home slept. Woke up and met Ron and Randy at Hunter's. We chilled and drank and were fumbling around with glowsticks and flags. We then end the night at Denny's. Lots of good food!
Thursday
The family went to Bahama Breeze for my brother Vergil's birthday. Lots of GOOD FOOD!!!!
Friday
After work I had to book to Cherry Red cause my brother forgot his records and cds. Afterwords went to Hunter's for a little bit, then went to my brothers to scan more pictures.
Saturday
Went to work at 7AM it sucked. then passed out at like 5PM
Sunday
Woke up today at 11AM., YES I slept for 18 hours, but it was the best night of sleep i've had in a while!!!!!
